Old Jobs I have Had ;-)

• I use to be a clock maker but I just needed time to unwind.

• I use to work for a company that made lighters and matches... then I got fired.
  
  
• For a while I worked at Campbell's soup factory... then I got canned.
  
  
• I used to work for a factory that made fire hydrants, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.
  
  
• I use to work at a mortuary, till I got caught stealing like a 175 pounds of body parts. Bail alone cost me an arm and a leg.
  
  
• I used to be a proofreader for a sky writing company.
  
  
• I moved to Hawaii and got a job putting leis on people when they got off the plane... then I got laid off.
  
  
• I use to be an astronomer but I got stuck on the day shift... which was horrible... you never discover anything good... look another cloud.

(OK, I admit, only a few of those are original)