Fast Food Folk Song (Taco Bell)

Hey Jude

OK, I just had to post this...

When Pigs Fly

Some classic Tim Hawkins Humor

The Human Slinky

TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A BAD CHURCH

10. The church bus has gun racks.

9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.

8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."

7. There's an ATM in the lobby.

6. Choir wears leather robes.

5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake."

4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.

3. Karaoke Worship Time.

2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?"

1. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."

Our good old foreign policy demonstrated

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Noah just hit me

Here's a video that Esther took of my kids being bad but it's funny enough for me to post it here. It reminds me of the Charlie bit me video...

What if worship was like an NFL game?

Porpoise Driven Life

Blonde's year in review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh"....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm..... car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days..... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

Baby Preacher - Now that's funny

Marriage According to Kids

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming..
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids...
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Points of view and blogging...

A couple pictures from Despair.com...

Funny Flub

Barack Obama making history.



Maybe this is a taste of the next election.

Levi and Esther

Here's a video of a few of my kids being silly. For some reason it just keeps making me laugh.

Human Tetris

This has been around for a while but I thought I would post it anyway for those who missed it.

Top ten reasons why the Reformed Theologian did not cross the road:

10. A woman already crossed, and he would be in sin if he followed

9. The road is not safe if it wasn’t built between 1500-1700 AD

8. He believes that “road crossing” has ceased

7. The crossing guard was only helping people cross from one side, so he suspiciously thought he was denying double pre-destination

6. Romans 9 says nothing about crossing roads

5. The “Walk” sign was gender neutral

4. The road was called Tiber Ave

3. John Wesley said that God’s prevenient grace would pave the way, but he had to take the steps himself

2. He wasn’t elected to cross before the foundation of the road

1. Piper said that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied where we are